I Love Him and I Wish to Know What He Thinks!

by Olivia
(U.S.)

I love this guy really much and I really wish to know what he thinks.

I am really confused right now. I have loved this guy, Edward since the beginning of the school year. Actually, I met him 3 years ago, but we did not really get to know each other until this year.

He sits right behind me in one class. We almost talk every day. That was my favourite class because of that. Day by day, I realized I love him more and more.

My best friend, Mina, and I always make jokes about Edward, saying he is our dream guy. Mina was only joking, but I am actually serious. Well, nobody knows that.

Not even Mina knows I love Edward. I never worried about Mina actually falling in love with Edward because she had a boyfriend that she loves very much.

Until this day, Mina and her boyfriend broke up. She was so upset every single day, almost crying every single day. Edward and I tried our best to hang out with her everyday to make her feel better.

One day, Mina told me that she thinks she is in love with Edward. She looked like she was joking, but I really do not know if she is serious or not, because I've told her a little bit about my feeling about Edward, but I denied it after a week or so because I really don't want anyone to find out.

I am scared that Mina is testing me of how I would react if she tells me she really loves Edward because she does not know if I like Edward or not. So I told her I don't.

Three or four days after, she told me that she went to Edward's house that Saturday, and they kissed. She said she does not think they like each other. They did it just because they were "desperate for it"...

The next day I looked really messed up because I could not sleep that whole night. I did not talk to Edward in class. He would never know why I was so upset. He talked to me first, and he talked a lot more than normal days.

I was actually thinking if he knows that I love him, he knows that Mina had told me that they kissed; he knows that I would be super upset, so he tried to make me feel better.

I do not know if I was right or not. Mina is my best friend, and I love Edward really much. I can sleep for one less hour to help him do his work so he can sleep for one more hour. I am starting to refuse to help him anymore now.

I think I should stop. Or should I ...? It is really hard to give up. I don't know if Mina is serious about falling in love with Edward. Edward cares about Mina more than he cares about me.

I am just really going crazy because the person I love so much kissed my best friend -- because "they were desperate for it". I really cannot accept this reason. Please help me.

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